The depth of the cold feels good. It matches the shock in my body. Echoes of the past brought into present time have been shaking me during these past months. I swim out further, surprised at myself. Only a year ago I would never have gone in. I momentarily panic, the current is strong, the waves are bigger than I’m used to and it’s very cold. What am I doing here? A waves goes over my head and I start to thrash, fear rises. Then suddenly a strange calm enters my body, I hear the words, ‘don’t fight’. I begin to move with the waves. I have the sense that although I’m not in control and I’m being moved by this vast power, I can find a way to navigate through by being simultaneously moved by and moving with the water.